I find myself in the last year of my 20’s, and it’s a wildly curious place to be. Sure, I might be a little bit wiser, somewhat better dressed, much more independent – but in general increasingly aware of my own fleeting existence on this planet. It’s an era of life all at once terrifying as it is exciting, in that knowledge. At this point you’re hopefully in the driver’s seat, shifting direction as you deem necessary to get to where you want to go. Your desired destination is ultimately shaping the journey. So as a woman, 30 is somewhat of a big deal. Some of us hope to be married, have a baby, buy a home, land that six-figure job – you know, get on track for that happy all-American life we’re supposed to lead. But more than the physical, tangible milestones we cross, what life lessons should we have mastered by the time we reach a certain age?
In 1997, Glamour magazine published a story titled “30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30.” The list, written by Pamela Redmond Satran went viral, and still maintains relevancy nearly a decade later. Although a bit unrealistic and broad, lists have a way of compartmentalizing our problems, giving us the sense that if you tick most of the boxes, you’re probably faring much better than you thought. For every strong woman on the cusp of her thirties, this may be an interesting perspective on what having your shit together looks like – at 30:
By 30, you should have …
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, you should know …
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30
What’s on your personal list of things to have and know — and possibly do — before turning 30?
List excerpted from Glamour‘s “Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know By The Time She’s 30.”
Image via Style.com
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